Smooth As

1. I'm going to start using the word proliferate more.

2. Quote of the day from White Noise: "If you don't have the grace and wit to die early, you are forced to vanish, to hide as if in shame and apology."(70)

3. I once got caught urinating in the stockroom sink at this bar called Butter (it was on Folsom Street I believe). The place, at least five years ago, was one of those retro, mullets are cool, hipster bars, complete with a trailer attached to the back wall - where they served tater tots long before that stupid movie with Pedro became the rage. My friend Reed and I were faded, and after watching Tron projected on the dance floor wall - which was bizarre to say the least, and after strategically standing by the women's bathroom to strike up random conversations as they waited to do lines in groups of four or five, I decided that I couldn't hold out until a restroom became available, so I just opened the first available door and saw a sink that was calling my name. Whatever came over me I can't say, but it just seemed like the right thing to do, this cunning move to maximize my time (not to mention relieve an impending disaster), that is until one of the cute bartenders opened the door and found me dangling my sack over the sink. I felt this cold rush on my genitals and then saw a white flash, followed by a scream "Out!" as loud as humanly possible, like a shop owner on Market Street kicking a homeless bloke out of their doorway first thing in the morning. All the women in line, the ones I believed I had charmed earlier, now looked at me with disgust as I zipped my pants. Embarrassed but not relieved, I waited for the employee to go back to the front bar, and then just as quickly returned and finished my task. I heard a few girls giggle but I didn't care. A few months later, when a friend from art school threw a party there, I refused to attend, paranoid that I had been caught on tape that night. I saw the whole thing play out in my mind, the bouncer putting his hand on my shoulder the minute I purchased my first drink, me trying to play it off like it was someone else, and then getting placed in a dark office where some Armenian gangster named Marcello starts slapping me around. I know this sounds absurd - well it is absurd, but my imagination is twisted, and at this point, as I reflect on some of the dumb stunts I used to pull in my 20's, it kind of makes me smile. I mean, what kind of classy guy behaves like this? What would my poor mother think? And why do I feel compelled to share this with you now?

4. Here's an excellent article on the trouble in the Middle East, thanks to my friend Nick. Also, here is a beautiful design site - I mean stunning.

5. Walked to the Golden Gate Bridge again today. It was beautiful out, and the beach was packed with dogs and women and little kids. Who says July in San Francisco has to be gloomy?